Finding a self-care routine that works for you is a journey. Make sure it’s a pleasurable one.
Between work stress, family obligations, and the chaos of everyday life, it’s tough to make self-care a priority.
We guilt and shame ourselves for being “selfish.” We fear that by taking time for ourselves, we’re stealing it away from something (or someone) more important.
However, regularly indulging in pleasure is a key component of living a happy, healthy life. Pleasure is self-care, and you are worth it.
Keep reading for insights into making pleasure an integral part of sustainable self-care.
You Deserve to Feel Good
Productivity-obsessed culture glorifies constant work and derides rest and recreation. What’s the point?, hustle culture nags. If it doesn’t produce, it’s a waste of time.
“No pain, no gain” and “grinding” have become the societal mantras. This mindset seems encouraging on the surface, but is deeply flawed once you really inspect it.
Pain is a part of life. So is pleasure. Consistently choosing and accepting pain without doing the same for pleasure leaves us unbalanced and unfulfilled.
What are we griding for, anyway, if we don’t feel good?
If you’re running on empty day after day just trying to push through, you’re not the only person affected by your choices. Feeling depleted and like a dimmer version of yourself means you have less patience, attention, creativity, and care to give to others.
By contrast, taking pleasure breaks
- reduces stress
- boosts mood
- increases motivation
- restores mental clarity
- allows you to be more present
Self-care through pleasure replenishes your reserves so you can thrive in all areas of life. It is is an act of self-love, and self-love is essential.
Others may judge activities done outside the lens of “productivity” as lazy. It takes courage and wisdom to resist grinding yourself down in service of hustle culture or social expectations.
You can do it. Honor your humanity. Remind yourself that pleasure for pleasure’s sake is purposeful. It nourishes you.
Commit today to intentionally and unapologetically incorporating more joy into your routine.
Pleasure is Resistance
Pleasure is a normal, healthy human need.
Break free from the “trap” of hustle culture by giving yourself permission to make self-care pleasurable first and foremost.
Schedule your self-care time with as much commitment as scheduling a doctor’s appointment or a work meeting.
Your sensual bubble bath doesn’t need a purpose beyond your relaxation. Your hobbies do not require monetization.
Slow down and let go of the need to optimize every moment. Make space for enjoyment—it’s an act of resistance and a balm for the soul.
Self-care should feel rejuvenating, not like another chore. Make it easy on yourself by starting small, even allowing yourself brief breaks throughout the day can do wonders in lifting your mood.
The key is consistency. Even a short, pleasant respite from the churn of constant obligations keeps your inner light glowing.
If you’re still feeling “guilty,” remember: you can’t fill anyone’s cup if yours is empty, and self-care through pleasure keeps yours brimming.
Start With Simple Pleasures
Think back to the simple activities that brought you sheer joy as a child before work, stress, bills, and obligations crowded your schedule.
Chasing fireflies in the backyard as dusk fell? Painting for hours in the garage? Twirling and leaping wildly to music in your room while listening to your favorite CD? Collecting colorful rocks or pretty shells on the beach?
As adults, we often push away activities that seem silly or aimless. Revisiting these simple pleasures can powerfully lift your spirits.
Make time to play. Go blow bubbles at the park. Stop to pet every dog you see on your walk. Savor a hot fudge sundae without an ounce of guilt.
If pampering yourself sounds appealing, absolutely lean into luxurious spa days, indulgent manicures, silk robes, or your favorite sweet treats.
Don’t limit yourself to the stereotypical “rewards” society sells as self-care. Dig deeper.
What interests did you abandon due to lack of time or perceived frivolity? Gardening? Photography? Creative Writing? Poetry? Knitting? Playing guitar? Horseback riding? Singing?
Revisit past hobbies or try new creative pursuits. Reignite the spark for activities that once fed your spirit.
Make space for creative pursuits that inject more beauty and meaning into your days. Follow what genuinely captures your curiosity rather than what you feel you “should” enjoy.
If you’re not sure where to start, check out my Peace & Pleasure worksheet in the Sensually Sourced Community:
Allow Sexual Pleasure
Pleasure most certainly includes sexual self-care. Despite lingering cultural taboos, nurturing your sexual wellbeing through solo pleasure is a powerful act of self-love.
Taking time to indulge in self-pleasure reduces stress, helps you sleep better, and boosts your confidence by helping you reconnect with your body on an intimate level.
When you block out distractions and truly treat yourself to sensual solo time, you tap into a sense of inner joy, release, and deep physical satisfaction that words can’t fully capture.
In short, it simply feels good.
Here are some tips to help you get started:
- Take your time. Make space to explore self-pleasure without shame or hurry. Tune into what kinds of touches, techniques, and pacing please you most—we all have unique preferences.
- Branch out. Experiment privately with erotic books, videos, or toys. Luxuriate in fantasy and self-created scenarios that appeal uniquely to you.
- Revisit technique. Use the favored self-pleasure techniques you know will bring you bliss or explore new ones.
Prioritizing your sexual wellness nourishes your body, mind, and spirit while feeling simultaneously indulgent, empowering, and grounding.
The wisdom gained from exploring your sensuality through solo pleasure will also empower you to more clearly and confidently communicate your desires with trusted partners.
By gently caring for your sexual energy independently, you build knowledge of how you most ache to receive pleasure. Then, you can feel more confident requesting what fulfills you during shared intimacy.
Need help? Grab my free communication journal:
Sexual Communication Journal (Talking About Sex)Make space for self-pleasure and discover just how good tending to all facets of your sensual energy feels.
Connecting with Partners for Pleasure
Self-care fundamentally starts with nurturing yourself. For those with partners, of course, prioritizing pleasure in the bedroom is also tremendously important.
A sexually fulfilling relationship where both people feel satisfied adds joy, connection, and passion that can strengthen your bond on all levels.
To achieve this, make your intimate life a priority, not an afterthought. Be proactive about keeping the fires of passion burning bright together:
- Carve out time free from distractions so you can both be fully present and explore one another with unhurried appreciation.
- Keep communication open, honest, and ongoing—after all, our sexual tastes evolve just as we do.
- Make safe space for vulnerability and laughter as you check in on desires, comfort levels, curiosities, and love languages.
- Welcome spontaneity and playfulness into the bedroom through flirtatious surprises, games, roleplay, new positions, or location romps.
Pleasure thrives with variety and wholehearted willingness to give one another bliss. If you’re looking for ideas, check out my list of 100 New Sex Ideas for Experienced Lovers:
100 New Sex Ideas for Experienced LoversRemember: Peace and Pleasure Start from Within
Building a sustainable self-care routine centered on pleasure takes commitment.
You’re worth it.
Start small if needed—enjoy a relaxing bath or a fifteen minute break from work to walk around the neighborhood. Let yourself read a novel or watch an episode of your favorite TV show without guilt.
Then, commit to leveling up your self-care and pleasure from there.
Want personalized guidance?
Hi there! I’m Sex Coach Shannon. I offer private coaching and classes both virtually and in my New Orleans studio. Book a free discovery call to learn more:
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