A collection of resources for those seeking online therapy for sex and sexuality.
Finding a good sex therapist is hard. If you’ve tried finding one to see in person, perhaps using the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT) referral directory, you may already know this.
As of this writing, in fact, there are only 910 licensed sex therapists in the U.S., making up just .005% of all therapists in the country.
That’s just 18 sex therapists per state!
Many people seeking a sex therapist are further limited by geography. How many sex therapists are in your specific city or county? Assuming you have a car, how far of a drive would it take to see them in person?
Some sex therapists only work with couples, posing a problem if you’re single. Or the opposite situation could be true. Alternately, a provider may specialize in LGBTQIA+ focused therapy, Christian sex counseling, ethical nonmonogamy and kink, or another niche that you simply don’t fit into.
If any of these hurdles stop you from getting the help you need, your best bet is to seek online sex therapy.
What is sex therapy?
Sex therapy is talk-based counseling that addresses issues affecting a person’s sex life. A licensed sex therapist is especially helpful in handling situations where mental health and sexuality intersect. This includes things like:
- Recovering from sexual trauma, such as rape or assault
- Navigating sexuality while also managing diagnosed mental health conditions
- Recieving LGBTQIA+-focused counseling from a therapist qualified to talk about sexual concerns
- Addressing how body shame affects one’s sex life, particularly for clients suffering with eating disorders
- Reconciling differences between deeply held religious beliefs about sex and lived sexual experiences
Sex therapists can also cover many other topics; this list includes just some of the most common issues they address.
Tip: People experiencing issues with sexual desire, porn addiction, reaching orgasm, or simply wanting to explore new sexual interests may have an easier time finding a sex coach than a sex therapist.
Sex coaches address sexual issues unrelated to mental health disorders. I’ll talk about sex coaching shortly, but first, let’s cover where to find sex therapists if you need one.
Online Sex Therapy Apps and Providers
Online sex therapy makes sexuality counseling available to anyone with internet access.
There are two main sources of online sex therapy provided by licensed counselors: apps, and independent providers.
Sex Therapy Apps
The following apps act somewhat like counseling marketplaces. Different types of therapists can be found within them, including sex therapists. You can use the apps to find therapists that meet your needs.
Each app comes with its own benefits and challenges. Take a look and see whether any of these options could work for you:
Talkspace has a well-designed app and website easily navigated from a phone, tablet, or computer. You can search for counselors that work with partnered people or individuals, and some insurance plans will cover part or all of the session cost.
However, it’s hard to search specifically for a sex therapist within the app, and not all providers offer live sessions. Without insurance, Talkspace is also one of the most expensive app options.
As someone who has personally used BetterHelp for therapy, I can’t say enough nice things about the site, the app, and the counselors found there. Much like Talkspace, you can search for therapists that specialize in what you’re looking for and some insurance providers help cover costs.
However, also like Talkspace, you can’t search specifically for a sex therapist on the site or app. Plans start at $240/mo and can be as high as $360/mo depending on your location and situation.
ReGain is specifically for relationship therapy. At $240-$320/mo for a plan, it’s comparable to BetterHelp, however there are many limitations to the app’s offerings.
For one, singles won’t find any help here. Aditionally, not all relationship counselors include sex therapy as part of their practice. Unlike BetterHelp and Talkspace, the platform does not offer private messaging and does not accept insurance.
Pride Counseling is specifically for LGBTQIA+ individuals. Here, you’ll find counselors who specialize in therapy for queer and transgender clients.
The site and app are comparable to the other options listed here. However, much like them, there is no way to search specifically for sex therapists. Pride Counseling also does not offer counseling for partners. Monthly plans run from $240-$360/mo.
Independent Online Sex Therapists
Outside of apps, a number of sex therapists maintain a private practice. Many offer sessions over the phone, Zoom, or other online meeting platforms. Some AASECT-listed sex therapists may offer online counseling, but not all.
Independent practices tend to be much more costly than app-based sex therapy. Pricing starts around $110 per session (not month!), and some even charge up to $499 per one-hour session.
Each independent sex therapist you find will take different forms of insurance or possibly no insurance at all. Many don’t publish pricing on their websites, making it hard to be sure of whether they’re within your budget before booking.
If you have specialized needs (such as sexual desires complicated by mental health conditions) and the means to book an independent sex therapist, here are some sites to try:
- mentalandsexualhealth.com ($150/session)
- vmtherapy.com ($499/session)
- sextherapy-online.com (no price published, does not take insurance)
- kimatwood.com (no price published, only available in IN, MA, NJ, NY, & PA)
There is also an insurance-friendly site dedicated to sex therapy for Christians: mycounselor.online. Sessions are $110. Be forewarned: MyCounselor Online is not LGBTQIA+ friendly.
I hesitate to even include it for that reason, but have chosen to err on the side of people knowing about as many sources of therapy as possible to get the help they need.
Sex Coaching: An alternative to sex therapy (in the right circumstances)
If finding an online sex therapist proves difficult or appears out of reach financially, another option is to consider whether a sex coach can meet your needs.
How can a sex coach help me?
Sex coaches are not licensed therapists, and therefore cannot help clients navigate mental health issues or process trauma. However, they can help with many of the same issues sex therapists help with, such as:
- trouble getting or maintaining an erection
- inability to orgasm
- other orgasm issues, such as orgasming too soon or taking too long
- mismatched libido between partners
- discovering and communicating sexual needs and boundaries
- exploring kink or ethical nonmonogamy
- wanting to increase your levels of sexual desire
- wanting to get better control of high levels of desire
- …and more
How much does a sex coach cost?
In addition to addressing many of the same issues as sex therapists, sex coaches tend to be, on average, more affordable.
Where can I find online sex coaching?
A number of organizations train and certify sex coaches. You can check out their directories to access a wide number of professionals available for online sex coaching. These include:
- The Sexology Institute. This is my alma mater. Most of the graduates of the institute’s sex coaching program offer online sessions.
- Loveology University: Love U doesn’t have a directory, per see, but their testimonials page includes videos and names of graduates so you can get a feel for them and look them up online.
- World Association of Sex Coaches: Around 100 sex coaches pay a membership fee to appear on this directory. All may not offer online coaching, but you can reach out to them before booking to find out.
If you’re interested in in-person, body-based sex coaching, the Somatica Insitute may be another resource.
Somatic sex coaching tends to happen in-person, so I didn’t include them on this online coaching list. For some people, however, somatic sex coaching or sexological bodywork may be appropriate.
Online sex therapy or coaching is just a click away.
One of the benefits of today’s hyperconnected world is how easy it often is to find the exact help you need. I hope this article helped you narrow down your need for a sex therapist or coach, and gave you places to look for each that are within your budget.