Growth is at the edge of our comfort zone, and I’d be lying if I didn’t say I like to push limits. When it comes to female orgasm, this has resulted in discovering incredibly unexpected orgasmic heights.
I now come powerfully
- whenever I want
- however I want
- however long I want
- as many times I want
I’m abundantly orgasmic, and I love that for me!
Getting here took a delightful combination of desire and determination.
If you’d like to follow in my footsteps and master female orgasm (meaning climax from your vulva & vagina), here are the 5 orgasmic milestones that got me here:
1. Orgasm every day.
This is a solo goal I set years ago that completely changed my relationship with orgasm.
Once coming was a daily occurrence, pleasure became a baseline expectation for day-to-day life (and my relationships).
Daily orgasms don’t just feel good. They keep us happy, stress-free, and make it much easier to come during partnered sex.
If orgasming every day sounds like a lot of work, check out my orgasm activity ebook. It has insights that should help make orgasm easier to achieve:
Orgasm Activity Book2. Have more pleasurable orgasms.
Once I realized I could come so hard I couldn’t walk afterward, I wanted to come like that every time.
I like orgasms that make me feel like I’ve been shot into outer space to tour the cosmos, returning too lightheaded to function for a while.
I worked my way up to consistently mind-blowing orgasms by intentionally building up orgasmic potential before release.
This is also known as “edging.” I go into more detail in my post on orgasm control, delay, and play.
If you already take a long time to come, I recommend learning to use orgasmic relaxation first. I talk about this in my post on multi-orgasmic strategies.
3. Reduce refractory time for more orgasms.
After penile or clitoral orgasm, most people enter a refractory period.
During this period, touch is less pleasurable and even painful for some. (It certainly was for me.)
Orgasm during the refractory period is tough if not impossible to achieve. With practice, however, you can reduce the time you spend in it and get back to having sexy, orgasmic fun.
I once had a session where my refractory period was reduced to nearly nothing while my orgasmic potential was sky-high. My clit became an orgasm-dispensing button! Each time one climax ended, my partner would touch me once and another would begin.
I recommend the book the Multi-Orgasmic Man for penis owners attempting this goal, and my post on penetrative orgasm has techniques for vulva-owners looking to get started.
4. Come on command.
I’ve spent the last couple years showing women and couples how I used orgasm conditioning to teach myself to come on command. It’s been an incredible ride.
Proper orgasm conditioning grants you complete control over when and how you come so you can do it whenever you (or your partner) want.
The fun thing with this is you can take it in many directions. Some couples use it for power exchange dynamic, others to guarantee they come together every time they have sex.
Some penis owners use it to last longer (or even orgasm sooner in some cases). Meanwhile, many vulva-owners have joined me in reaching touch-free female orgasm.
I lay out a suggested journey to work toward this in my post about training a partner to come on command.
5. Have different types of orgasms.
However you normally orgasm is probably delightful, but it’s fun to seek new ways to come!
I’ve come from different parts of my body (anal, nipples, and lips), learned and taught others to squirt or retain ejaculate, and reduced my refractory time enough to experience “rolling orgasms” that last minutes.
Recently I learned how to engage my pelvic muscles during orgasm to “hold on” to it and make it last longer than any I’ve ever had.
I’ve now reached a point where my orgasms last however long I want…or until my pelvic strength gives out. It’s a lot of fun!
Wanna Play? Virtual Orgasm Coaching Slots Are Open!
Each month, I open 4 private coaching slots for women+ and couples interested in orgasm conditioning, erotic ignition, and/or kink exploration.
I also offer a recurring orgasm coaching group for women, Come Like a Queen, where we collaborate to uplift one another to new orgasmic heights.
If either interests you, book a discovery call! I’d love to help you reach your next orgasm goal.
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