If you can come once, you can come again. Multiple orgasms are for people of all bodies.
The book Multi-Orgasmic Man covers strategies for penis owners really well. I highly recommend it!
I’m still seeking a comparable resource for vulva-owners. In the meantime, let’s go over some strategies you can try on your own to become multi-orgasmic.
(By the way, if you don’t always orgasm when you want, snag my all-bodies activity book for some tips:)
Talking About Orgasm Activity BookHere are 3 strategies my clients and I have actually used to go from one orgasm per session to two, three, four—and even break down the door to orgasm play so good we lose count.
Strategy 1: Vary your sources for multiple orgasms.
The clitoris is the most common source of orgasm for vulva owners.
But it’s not the only one.
The trouble with orgasming from your clitoris is that it’s an anatomical analog to the penis. These organs are made of the same tissues and therefore behave in similar ways, meaning they tend to enter a refractory period after orgasm—making another one impossible.
While multiple orgasms from your clitoris are possible, I find it’s easier for most to first learn how to orgasm from your vagina, g-spot, cervix, and other places.
I share exercises to help you do that in my post, How to Orgasm from Penetration. Use them to have penetrative orgasms that don’t put you into a refractory period.
Pro tip: Barring nerve conditions, it’s possible to come from any part of your body. I enjoy anal and nipple orgasms, and I’ve spoken with others who have orgasmed from having their feet, knees, and even gums stimulated.
Studies on people with spinal injuries prove that the vagus nerve can relay orgasm from anywhere on your nervous system. Pick your favorite spot to be touched and start exploring!
Strategy 2: Practice orgasmic relaxation.
High-effort orgasms take a lot of energy. They leave our bodies too depleted to have another one.
Orgasmic relaxation teaches our bodies how to climax effortlessly, leaving the door open for more.
If your orgasms take a lot of effort, this is a great opportunity to double-down on exploring penetrative orgasm with a relaxed approach.
Use the exercises from the post on penetrative orgasm. Include the optional step of adding clitoral stimulation at the end to bring yourself to climax.
BUT, and this is important, make a point of keeping your entire body relaxed as you do so.
Don’t “try” to orgasm. Instead, relax into the pleasure and enjoy it, waiting patiently to see when orgasm chooses to come to you.
- If you stay completely relaxed, you’ll eventually feel involuntary muscle contractions; orgasm is knocking on the door. That’s good, but avoid the temptation to hurry orgasm along by tensing your muscles on purpose. Remain relaxed; orgasm can let itself in.
- Keep at it, and your heartbeat will quicken and you’ll feel flushed. Orgasm is peeking through the window and putting its hand on the doorknob. Again, let it come in on its own. Let your body lounge luxuriously, ready to greet orgasm as it comes in.
Relaxed orgasms are some of the most powerful orgasms we have. I’ve had major life epiphanies after some of mine. Be forewarned that the first couple times may leave you a little emotional.
Practice often, and you’ll train your body to welcome orgasm effortlessly so you can do it again and again.
Strategy 3: Increase your orgasmic frequency.
Orgasm is part of a natural arousal cycle in our bodies: increasing arousal – climax – decreasing arousal – neutrality. Repeat.
Nerds with degrees have hooked people up to electronics and put them in machines to track this arousal cycle: it’s real!
Multi-orgasmic people do go through decreasing arousal and neutrality; they just do it more quickly. People who have rolling, continuous orgasms can pass through these stages as if they’re blinking.
The most effective approach I’ve found for hastening through decreasing arousal and neutrality is to increase your orgasmic frequency regardless of quality. (stay with me)
For example, let’s say I self-pleasure every night as part of my bedtime routine. This could be a 10-20min date with my vibrator that ends in a “good enough” orgasm to help me sleep.
At worst, my baseline arousal cycle is:
- 10 mins of increasing arousal
- 2-3 seconds of climax
- 5 minutes of decreasing arousal
- 23hrs, 45 minutes of neutrality (assuming it’s a bad day)
That’s a lot of time spent in decreasing arousal and neutrality even though I come every night. To address that, there are a few things I can try:
- find ways to increase arousal throughout my day (flirt, sext, read erotica, hang out on fet)
- find ways to sneak another orgasm into my routine (morning o’s? lunch break? afternoon delight?)
- make a point of ending my day early enough to spend more time on my bedtime routine
- spend time with partners who keep me aroused and/or orgasming
When increasing frequency as a strategy, the quality of the orgasm isn’t super important.
That’s not to say that quality never matters. It just means that if you’re embarking on a journey to become multi-orgasmic, it helps to trust the process. Come often, and quality will find its way to you. Promise.
Everyone starts somewhere. If you’re not orgasming once a day already, start now. If you already are, bump it up to twice, three times, four, etc. The more frequently you come day-to-day, the more frequently you’ll eventually come during sex or solo play.
Come Like a Queen with Multiple Orgasms
Reading these strategies is one thing. Putting them into practice a for rolling, pussy-throbbing climaxes that change everything you thought you knew about coming takes commitment.
That’s why a few friends and I are getting together next month for a 6-week orgasm conditioning journey I call Come Like a Queen.
Join us for more strategies, hands-on techniques, and tailored advice for entering your multi-orgasmic reign:
Have questions?
I’m Shannon, a certified Sex and Orgasm Coach available virtually and in New Orleans.
Let’s chat about your journey to coming like a Queen:
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