Author’s Note: As a coach for sex-positive professionals, my work is grounded in deep knowledge of the sexuality field—including topics like physiology, arousal, and orgasm. This post comes from my earlier work as a sexuality educator. Learn more about how I support sex coaches, educators, therapists, and other pros here.
Common knowledge tells us that most vagina-owners can’t orgasm from penetration.
This isn’t exactly true.
Research shows most of us don’t orgasm from penetration. That doesn’t mean we can’t.
When I work with clients on orgasm, more often than not all that stands between them and vaginal climax is the right knowledge and a little practice.
I’ve helped people come from nipple stimulation, anal sex, and even from just verbal commands. If that’s possible, you can definitely come from you vagina!
For vagina-owners who haven’t orgasmed from penetration or only do so infrequently, this one’s for you. Let’s talk vaginal, g-spot, and cervical orgasms.
First, the Basics
Real talk: the easier you come from clitoral stimulation, the easier you’ll come from penetration.
If clitoral orgasms are a challenge for you, start with my body- and gender-inclusive orgasm activity ebook first then come back here.
The reason clitoral orgasms are so important is that, in reality, most vaginal orgasms are clitoral orgasms.
Have you seen the diagrams of the internal clitoris? (If not, here’s the wiki.) That lovely little nub at the top of the vulva is just one exposed bit of a larger internal organ. And it exists exclusively for your pleasure.
Coming from the exposed clitoris activates and strengthens the orgasmic potential of the rest of your clitoris. The clitoris has bulbs that rest on either side of your vagina. It can also be “tickled” from behind at your g-spot.
Exercise 1: Come from your clit!
Set aside 20 minutes to engage in a sensual activity that gets you aroused and allows your clitoris to fully swell. (If you need help, try checking out my post on the Art of Arousal.)
Set yourself up for a really powerful orgasm. Then, go over the edge and tune into your internal sensations as you come.
You’ll feel your vaginal walls contracting most intensely at the areas where your internal clitoris is most accessible. That’s your first in to penetrative orgasm.
Vaginal and G-Spot Orgasm
When my clients do exercise 1, they most often report feeling contractions most intensely at the entrance of their vagina and/or one or more inches inside.
(Note: if these contractions or vaginal stimulation are painful for you, talk to your doctor or a pelvic floor therapist before continuing on this journey.)
These sensations make sense. Anatomy studies reveal “significantly richer small-nerve-fiber innervation” in the front third of our vaginas. This makes the are the most sensitive one for most people who have one—especially when those internal clitoris bulbs are swelled up against our vaginal walls.
If you feel contractions deeper inside, it’s usually in an internal zone that is directly or almost directly behind the exposed nub of your clitoris.
This zone is commonly called the g-spot.
Its location explains why a lot of vibrators designed to press on the g-spot and the external clitoris at the same time are selling like hotcakes.
You’re basically sandwiching your clit from the front and back and vibrating it. (Oof, just writing about it makes me want to take a break and go do some, uh, “research”).
Exercise 2: Relax into pleasure.
Chances are the first time you came from your external clitoris wasn’t the first time you stimulated it (or had it stimulated).
Those of us who played with our external clits before we even knew what orgasm was did it simply because it felt good and made us feel happy and relaxed.
To orgasm from penetration, you’ll want to start with using your internal clitoris to feel good, happy, and relaxed.
Take 20 minutes to get fully aroused and let your entire clitoris swell, then stroke the inside of your vagina where it’s most sensitive with your fingers, a toy, or a partner’s penis or strap.
Tune into the pleasure of the back-and-forth, sliding sensation. Get lost in this sensation, letting the pleasure spread across your entire body and stopping only when you feel as heady and floaty as your most relaxed memory.
If you’d like, stimulate your external clitoris after you’ve reached your relaxed state and bring yourself to orgasm. Repeat this exercise at least twice a week (remembering that the goal is reaching that state of total relaxation, not orgasm).
Notice how your internal sensations change the more you do this exercise, and celebrate that progress.
Over time, you may notice you can combine internal stimulation during your relaxed state with external stimulation for a delightfully blended orgasm—a beautiful step toward orgasm from penetration alone.
Cervical Orgasm
Cervical orgasm is different than climaxing from your internal clitoris. Its firmness and depth make for really powerful experiences for those who enjoy them.
Your cervix is located at the deepest point in your vagina. For most of us, this is 2-4 inches deep when we’re not aroused, and 4-7 inches deep when we are aroused. (Yes, our vagina elongates when we’re aroused!)
Some people feel pain when their cervix is stimulated. Assuming medical reasons have been ruled out, this could be due to:
- stimulation while not aroused
- stimulation that is too forceful
- having a sensitive cervix
If cervical stimulation doesn’t feel good for you, there’s no reason to pursue an orgasm this way.
If, however, cervical stimulation is neutral or good—you can have a lot of fun with that.
Exercise 3: Deep cervical pleasure.
Just as with vaginal and g-spot orgasms, the first step to cervical orgasms for many is to simply enjoy and relax into cervical pleasure.
Due to the cervix’s location, for most people that means adapting exercise #2 and playing with a long, curved toy designed to rub against your cervix and reaching a relaxed state repeatedly over time.
A favorite tool of many cervical orgasm aficionados are firm toys with domed or spherical ends designed to be pressed against the cervix. Search for body-safe glass dildos or stainless steel dildos for examples.
If your partner’s erect penis or strap is as long or longer than your vaginal depth while aroused, you can experiment with positions that open your pelvis wide and allow your partner to thrust and/or rub deeply against your cervix. This works best for those who take pleasure in physically intense sex.
After you’ve reached your relaxed state, you can add stimulation of your external clitoris to reach orgasm. External clitoral orgasms are incredibly deeper and more powerful with something pressed up against your cervix, assuming you’re aroused and relaxed.
A benefit of the cervix’s location is the added pleasure from stimulating your internal clitoris as you rub it. If you’ve already taken steps toward vaginal or g-spot orgasm, you may unexpectedly climax from this stimulation separately or in combination with the cervical pleasure.
This is a lovely surprise when it happens, but try not to get too hung up on it or force it—that’s the opposite of relaxation.
Putting it Into Practice
You have the knowledge to orgasm from penetration; now it’s time to put it into practice.
Over the last three years I’ve guided my private clients to becoming their most powerfully multi-orgasmic selves.
Now, I’m extending orgasm coaching to more people with a group journey designed to get us all coming like Queens.
Enjoy long-lasting, blended, multiple orgasms by combining the exercises above with climax strategies that get my clients having out-of-body orgasm experiences and moving through their days like royalty.
Shannon Burton, SXI
Shannon is a sex coach based in New Orleans, LA.
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