Want squirting orgasms for you or your partner? Here’s how to do it.
When it comes to coming as a vulva owner, people have a lot of questions. This is even more true when trying to learn how to squirt.
In today’s post, I’ll answer common questions about female ejaculation and squirting orgasm. Then, I’ll share a simple step-by-step guide for getting yourself (or your partner) squirting.
Let’s start with some basics.
What is an orgasm?
Before we get into squirting orgasms, we should talk about what orgasm is.
orgasm: the rapid pleasurable release of neuromuscular tensions at the height of sexual arousal that is usually accompanied by the ejaculation of semen in the male and by vaginal contractions in the female
Merriam-Webster
When we talk about female orgasm, we’re usually referring to this release of sexual tension and vaginal contractions.
You’ll notice that there’s no mention of squirting or female ejaculation in this definition. This brings us to our next question.
Orgasm Activity BookIs squirting an orgasm?
Not every female orgasm involves squirting, and not every instance of female ejaculation is an orgasm.
This often comes as a shock to my students and clients. Surely, squirting is a signal of intense sexual release, and therefore an orgasm, right!?
While releasing fluids during sex is a type of release, many women squirt without experiencing the vaginal contractions and pleasure associated with orgasm.
In the intensity of sexual experience, our bodies can do all kinds of interesting things. One of those things is releasing the same fluids released during a squirting orgasm without actually having an orgasm.
This is completely natural and not a cause for concern. If it happens often, consider investing in an absorbent blanket for easier clean-up.
Where are all these fluids coming from, anyway?
Is squirt pee?
The short answer: yes.
Thanks to ultrasonographic monitoring and biochemical analysis, we know that squirting orgasms are “essentially the involuntary emission of urine during sexual activity.”
Researchers concede that female ejaculation can include “marginal contributions of prostatic secretions.” This means the fluid may not be 100% urine, but for the most part it is.
It’s important to note that there is a difference between peeing, releasing urine during sex, and orgasming.
For one, peeing rarely feels as pleasurable as sex or orgasm.
Additionally, squirting orgasms or other fluid releases during sex are involuntary. That means the squirter isn’t intentionally doing anything to make it happen.
Squirting isn’t a sign that someone is incontinent or having weak pelvic muscles. In fact, strong pelvic muscles are what cause female ejaculate to “squirt” over a distance rather than “gush” into a sexy puddle.
If squirt is pee, and all one needs are strong pelvic muscles to do it…
Can all women squirt?
In theory, all vulva-owners can squirt.
There are a number of potential barriers to squirting that many women and vulva owners face. These include:
- pelvic differences, such as those caused by surgeries
- psychological differences, such as sexual inhibition or low self-image
- mental conditions, such as depression, anxiety, and ADHD
- medications, such as some antidepressants
- hormonal imbalance
- dehydration
- empty bladder
Assuming none of these issues are in the way, a vulva-owner should be able to have a squirting orgasm.
How to Squirt: 4 Steps to Female Ejaculation
Allright! If you’ve made it this far, you must be truly ready for a lesson on squirting. Let’s get to it.
This how-to guide assumes that you’re not dealing with hormonal, medical, or psychological situations such as the ones described above.
If you are dealing with those situations, talk to your doctor. There are many ways to address them that won’t only help you squirt but will also improve your sex life overall.
Not sure how to bring it up? Check out my free Talking About Sex eBook for help with overcoming inhibition.
Sexual Communication Journal (Talking About Sex)Step One: Get Hydrated
The #1 thing holding vulva owners back from squirting is dehydration.
Determined to squirt, but not so great at drinking water throughout the day? Snag a motivational water bottle to get on track.
If you’re not hydrated, you won’t squirt. Period.
The same goes for emptying your bladder. If you pee before sex, you’re expelling the fluids you need to squirt.
Don’t hold in pee if it’s going to make sex uncomfortable, of course. But if you don’t really need to as sexytimes amp up, make a point of not going to the bathroom.
It’s better to pee after sex anyway.
Step Two: Strengthen Your Pelvic Muscles
Contrary to what some say, squirting isn’t about having weak pelvic muscles. In fact, you need strong pelvic muscles to shoot fluids for any distance.
To strengthen your muscles, practice Kegel exercises. If you’re up to it, you can even use this app-enabled pelvic floor trainer to track your progress.
Or, go a more analog route with Kegel ball weights or Ben Wa balls. Just be sure to get these in silicone or metal, as porous materials are dangerous for your vagina.
After two weeks of daily exercises, you should have the pelvic strength to squirt.
Step Three: Take Your Time
Studies suggests that most women need at least 13-20 minutes of sensual stimulation to experience orgasm.
Whether you need more or less time than that, try to relax and create a sensual atmosphere free of stress.
Stress and pressure tend to be orgasm killers. Try to approach your squirting journey with a sense of playful exploration.
Step Four: Apply the Right Touch
Okay, you’re hydrated, pelvically swole, and you’ve had 13-20 minutes of sensual warm-up. It’s time to make a squirting attempt.
If you already orgasm reliably, try using your usual path to orgasm first. That might mean stimulating your clitoris or vagina in that oh-so-special way or adding stimulation in other sensual zones like your nipples.
Even if you don’t squirt on the first try, having an orgasm is an excellent additional warm-up, assuming you’re down to make another attempt in the same session.
If you don’t orgasm reliably or if you don’t squirt using your usual orgasm methods, here are some squirt-inducing moves to try:
- g-spot rubbing: the so-called “g-spot” is actually the back of the clitoris and positioned conveniently near the bladder. Use fingers or a toy to penetrate the vagina and press upward. Stay relaxed, tune into pleasure, and rub this area back and forth until you experience release.
- vestibule stimulation: many women report experiencing squirting orgasms thanks to rapid in-and-out motions at the vaginal opening, or vestibule. The inner vagina doesn’t have many nerves, but the vestibule does. Move fingers or a toy in and out rapidly to bring on orgasm; you may need to remove your fingers or toy as you climax for the fluids to release.
- cervical pressing: yet another common source of squirting orgasms is the cervix. This is the deepest part of the vagina, and best reached with toys or body parts that are at least 4-7 inches long. (Every vagina is different, but when aroused most are 4-7 inches deep.) Straddling on top of the toy or body part tends to work best, as you can use your full body weight to ensure cervical pressing. Rock your body back and forth, enjoying the sensation and building to orgasm. Again, you may need to remove the object or body part to release fluids and squirt.
- anal penetration: while certainly not required, anal penetration does lead to squirting orgasms for many women. The relaxation required for pleasurable anal sex may play a role here, as well as the psychological excitement of doing something “taboo.” If this intrigues you, it’s certainly worth a try.
With all these methods, the idea is to stay relaxed and in a state of pleasure as you build arousal. When you feel orgasm approaching, stay the course.
Don’t stop if you feel like you’re going to pee—that means it’s about to happen! However, not feeling like you need to pee isn’t necessarily a sign that it won’t happen; it can go either way.
Once you’ve squirted using one method, it’s often easier to squirt using other methods. Though keep in mind: you won’t necessarily squirt for every orgasm after the first time. You still have to be hydrated, have strong pelvic muscles, and use the right timing and touch.
If these moves don’t work, try leveraging consensual psychological elements. Many women confess that the first time they squirted was the result of a particularly heated experience thanks to novelty, fantasy, role play, risk, or emotional intensity.
Interested in 1:1 orgasm coaching?
Book a free discovery call to learn how I help women+ have effortless, squirting orgasms:
How to Make a Woman Squirt
If you’re reading this because you want to make your partner squirt, welcome!
Here are some tips for making that happen:
Avoid creating pressure.
As mentioned earlier, stress and pressure are orgasm killers. That’s the opposite of what you want.
If you mention to your partner that you’d like to make them squirt, make sure they know it’s not required nor an expectation. They should know that you won’t be disappointed if they don’t squirt.
Keep in mind that there can be many reasons why your partner doesn’t squirt, ranging from an empty bladder to medical conditions. You only have so much control over this outcome, so try not to depend on squirting for enjoyment.
Take your time.
As mentioned above, most women need 13-20 minutes of sensual stimulation before they can orgasm. You’re much more likely to make your partner squirt if you commit to this much foreplay.
Offer her a luxurious massage. Pay attention to her erogenous zones, such as the neck, breasts, nipples, and thighs. Slow down and enjoy the warm-up to her climax.
Use the moves.
The four moves shared above can be performed with fingers, sex toys, or a penis. Check in with your partner as you try them out. If they’re not pleasurable for your partner, squirting orgasm won’t happen. Their pleasure must be your priority.
If the moves don’t seem to be working, take a break and do something different. Remember: the journey should be fun and pressure-free for best results.
Learn to Squirt (or Make Them Squirt) in my Squirt Workshop!
My On-Demand Squirt Workshop covers everything you need to know about squirting and making others squirt.
Learn about preparing one’s body and mind for gushing orgasms and how to read the body to determine the best squirting move to use, when.
The Squirt Workshop is available to watch now:
Looking for new sexy ideas?
100 New Sex Ideas for Experienced Lovers is chock-full of fresh ideas you can try on your own at home. The best part? It’s totally free!
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100 New Sex Ideas for Experienced LoversMeet sex & sensuality expert: Shannon Burton, SXI
Hi there! I’m Sex Coach Shannon. I offer private coaching and classes both virtually and in my New Orleans studio.
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