Reclaiming Your Sexy After A Breakup

Breakups are hard; there’s no doubt about it. For some people, one way to cope is to “bang it out” with dating app matches and/or people they’d wanted to sleep with but couldn’t while partnered. However, this method doesn’t work for everyone.

For many of us, a breakup brings on a serious loss in libido. This can easily lead to an overarching feeling of being “unsexy”.

What’s more, it isn’t uncommon in the final months (or years) of a declining relationship for sex to take a back seat. As a result, it’s difficult to jump back into bed with someone new once the relationship ends. Fortunately, that isn’t necessary.

Taking time to heal and reflect on the end of a relationship is important. At some point, it’s also important to reclaim your sexuality in healthy ways that work for you.

Being sexy isn’t about having sex. It’s about owning your unique sexuality regardless of what everyone else is doing. Here are some ideas on how to reclaim your sexy after a breakup leaves you feeling like you’ve lost it.

Shop for New, Sexy Threads

If it’s been a while since you wore an outfit that made you feel sexy, now’s the perfect time to change that. This doesn’t have to be a new look (though it certainly can be if you’d like!). Simpy shop for a fresh outfit or two that feels like you.

Prioritize looks that appeal to you, not anyone else. Don’t worry about what others think or find sexy. Filter your searches by your favorite colors and styles so that your screen fills with selections that make you giddy. If shopping in-store, take advantage of the dressing room for a private fashion show.

This doesn’t just go for outerwear. Lingerie and undergarments that your ex or exes loved can bring mixed feelings, making it hard to feel sexy while wearing them. Set this old, complicated clothing aside and shop for something new that’s just for you.

When you finally put your new purchases on, take some time to really admire yourself. If the mood strikes, take some selfies or go for a walk to show off your new threads.

Have a Boudoir Photo Shoot

Bought some lingerie, or feel like that new outfit is hot enough to require professional documentation? There are photographers for that!

Even without new outfits, there’s nothing quite as hot as an opportunity to see yourself in a new, sexy light. Someone else’s camera lens is a great opportunity to do so. Professional boudoir photographers are happy to meet at your home or their studio.

Short on cash? Ask a trusted friend to serve as a photographer. If you’re not sure what kinds of poses to strike, search online for inspiration. Remember that, in photography, it often takes a dozen shots to get one good one. Don’t be scared to experiment with positions and expressions until you snap that perfect sexy frame.

Use Toys to Give Yourself the Sex Your Deserve

Finally, when you’re ready to put the “sex” back in sexy (but not ready to jump in bed with another partner), toys make it possible.

This might mean using an old toy in new ways, or buying new toys from a site or local sex toy shop. From penis masturbators to clitoral sucking vibrators, there’s something for everyone.

If you haven’t shopped sex toys in a while (or ever!), now’s the time to explore just how far they’ve come. Find a toy that’s just right for you, and give yourself the sex you deserve post-breakup.

Soon, feeling unsexy will be a distant memory.

Still not finding your sexy? Contact me to talk about how one-on-one sex coaching can help.

Published by Shannon Burton

Content creator and sex educator by day, poet and flash fiction writer by night, I occasionally manage to get out of the house to enjoy New Orleans as it's meant to be.

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