You’ve probably heard the phrase, “everything but the kitchen sink.” Someone might joke, for example, that their partner packed everything but the kitchen sink for a trip, or that their boss heaped everything but the kitchen sink onto their to-do list.
So what is “kitchen sink sex”?
If you’re picturing a couple banging it out on the edge of the kitchen sink, I don’t blame you. Truth be told, countertop bangin’ may qualify as kitchen sink sex, as long as it meets one simple qualification:
It’s not penis in vagina (PIV) penetrative sex.
That’s it; that’s the only rule to kitchen sink sex. It can be any kind of sex besides PIV sex. It’s “everything but the kitchen sink”.
Why Talk About “Everything But”?
Plenty of people exclusively or mostly have kitchen sink sex, of course, when you consider that many partnered folk are gay or lesbian and that single people only have one body to have sex with—their own!
It’s painfully common for people and sex advice columns to default to PIV when talking about sex. Talking about kitchen sink sex is one way of battling that heteronormativity and expanding the definition of sex. This expansion isn’t just more inclusive, it encourages people in PIV ruts to branch out and have more fun.
There’s nothing wrong with PIV sex – it’s very enjoyable for a lot of people. Yet, there are so many more ways to have sex. Don’t believe me? Here are just a few ideas everyone can try:
Explore Your Whole Body
The true beauty of kitchen sink sex is that anyone can enjoy it. Single and partnered people can all have kitchen sink sex no matter their orientation, gender, or body type. It’s about as inclusive as sex gets.
Most people think of oral and anal sex when they’re asked about non-PIV intercourse, but those are just two of many options. People have found ways to have very enjoyable sex through solo and mutual masturbation, non-penetrative genital stimulation, and even utlizing nipples, breasts, butt cheeks, hands, feet, armpits, the backs of knees and other parts of the body to get off. Don’t get me started on kinks and fetishes!
There are endless ways to use our bodies to have sex. Sometimes, though, it’s fun to add more than just bodies to the adventure.
Try Sex Toys
Sex toys have a long history in human civilization. Dildos, for example, have been found dating back 30,000 years. Cock rings have been around since 1200 B.C. These kitchen sink sex devices are far from new.
However, the materials used for ancient sex relics were far less sanitary than the toys available today. With the help of washable silicone and body-friendly lubes, not to mention evermore-impressive vibrating and suction features, sex toys quickly and easily ramp up intimacy and creativity.
From sexting to the rapid rise of video chat, virtual sex isn’t just the physically safest way to get busy, it’s also hot.
Virtual sex allows you to connect with people anytime, anywhere – you don’t even have to set aside alone time in a private place. Sexy messages and suggestive photos sent via secure apps add a little eroticism to otherwise average days.
(Be sure to do your research and find apps that block screenshots and use disappearing messages if you don’t want that content hanging around forever, of course. WhatsApp is one app that can be set up this way.)
Sexting is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to virtual sex. Don’t have a partner? Use apps to connect with new people, or support sex workers by spending a little money on a cam model.
What else can you come up with?
This short list of ideas is just the beginning. There are so many ways to have sex! I hope you’ve found a little inspiration and that the next time you have sex, you challenge yourself to delve into everything but the kitchen sink.
(But you can throw it in if you really want to). 😉
Is your sex life stuck in a rut? Contact me to learn more about how sex coaching can help.