Porn addiction really caught your attention, eh?
After publishing 8 Ways Masturbating Improves Your Sex Life a month ago, my inbox filled with perhaps an obvious query:
“But isn’t it possible to masturbate too much?”
And to that, I say: mostly no.
But before I dive into why, let me tell you about my week.
Circle City News: Internet Radio Show
I made my first podcast appearance this weekend on the Circle City New Podcast. It was a lot of fun! We talked basics about what a sex coach does, delved into sex negativity and the fetishization of violence and bodies, raising kids in a culture of sexual shame, and so much more.
Fortunately, there’s a video recording of the episode. You can enjoy that right here:
Circle City News is hosted by Indiana trial attorney Marck Nicholson with the help of a team of amazing contributors. You can subscribe to the podcast on Spotify, Apple, Google, and other places podcasts are found.
How much is too much masturbation?
Now for what you’re probably here for: the inside scoop on porn addiction.
The vast majority of people who think they’re watching porn and masturbating too much (or that someone they know is) actually aren’t.
In fact, studies on people who identify as “hypersexual” and practice masturbation abstinence suggest that these people are no more sexual than anyone else. Rather, these individuals simply tend to view masturbation or even sex as inherently unhealthy or bad—despite having no scientific evidence to support that view.
But what about porn addiction and sex addiction?
For the few people who do notice masturbation and porn watching habits interfering with their relationships or sex life, it’s pretty easy to scale things back with some gentle self-discipline.
Sex, porn, and masturbation are not inherently bad. In fact, they’re all just simple facts of human sexuality. We exist, therefore we fuck. (Sometimes ourselves. And sometimes we pornogrify it with storytelling, writing, or recordings.)
If we repeat a sexual pattern often, it can create a well-trod pathway in our minds. When that happens, it’s easy for us to “default” to this pathway in other sexual situations. For people who masturbate the same way frequently, this leads to possible issues in partnered sex such as:
- not being able to reach orgasm
- genital desensitization
- struggling to get or maintain an erection
- requiring porn to reach orgasm
How can I overcome porn addiction or sex addiction?
The good news is: you can’t be addicted to porn or sex. There simply isn’t a chemical dependency that makes it possible.
You can, however, have porn, sex, or masturbation habits that affect your sex life and relationships. Some even call this a compulsion.
Learn more about the phenomenon and how to overcome it in my latest article, When Masturbation Ruins Your Sex Life.
Looking Ahead: Sex Ed Conference
Next week, I’ll be setting some time aside to virtually attend the 2021 National Sex Ed Conference.
This conference has been run by the Center for Sex Education since 1985. It will be my first time attending and I hope to meet new people, learn new things, and hopefully get an idea of whether there’s an area I can present on at next year’s conference!
We’ll see what else I get up to next week since this event will take up three whole days. I’ll be sure to check in with another update.
‘Til then…
stay sexy! <3
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So why is having a sex addiction a thing? Thinking of that bloke from the X-files and his addiction. I think you can be obsessed with porn and it is a personal choice if you value porn over real life. Just as sex is mistaken for intimacy in current times.
Poorly expressed for sure but perhaps relevant.
Great question! As I mentioned here, what we colloquially call sex addiction is more like a compulsive habit. As you mention, someone has to make a personal choice to prioritize that habit over other aspects of their life. The habit can be broken if that person chooses to do so, sets goals, and holds themselves accountable (or asks someone to help them do so).
There are lots of arguments that sex addiction isn’t really “a thing”. I tend to agree with them. It’s really for each individual to decide for themselves whether they’ve found a balance between their sex life and the rest of their life. If someone feels they’ve become unbalanced, they can take steps to rectify that.
I go into it with more depth in my article on Medium: https://contentbyburton.medium.com/when-masturbation-ruins-your-sex-life-13a0f5bd94fb
Hope this answers your question!
excellent response 🙂 and fully agree